Music.
The one thing I miss -
That connection we shared,
That we both understood.
Subtle nuances,
Instrumentation,
Breaking the boundaries of time -
You enjoyed these just as much
As I do.
We could get lost together
In a way I've never known before
And have yet to know since.
You think
That everything's okay
But it can't be
And never will
Because it never was before,
Before the torment of these storms
That brew inside me
As they threaten to drown me
For they never stop -
Never let up,
Never relent -
And the water piles up
With nowhere else to go.
And you poke
And you prod
And suddenly those holes
Explode under the weight
And cover you in their fury
And you can't handle it.
You never could
And you never will.
So why do you keep trying?
I hate constantly having to bite my tongue,
Keeping my silence
To maintain the peace
In this supposed safe-haven
Whose walls I just want to rip apart
With the truths I've had to silence
All these years
Because if I speak -
If I say anything
That isn't just the right thing -
Then suddenly it's Armageddon
And all hell breaks loose
In this place -
In this house
In this home?
Where nothing is sacred
And no one is safe.
A Little Bit Different by dynamitehackr416, literature
Literature
A Little Bit Different
It's been a long time
Since I've come to this room,
Since I've stared at these walls
With this pen in my hand,
Aching to scratch up the emptiness
With something all my own -
Something that represents me,
Something that defines me,
Something that moves,
That lives, that breathes
Like I do,
Continuing on
Even in the shadows,
When you can't see the light anymore
But you know it's there somewhere
So you just keep going,
Reaching, hoping,
Dreaming
For something better,
Or maybe just a little bit different,
Because when you're locked away
Trapped inside yourself
Sometimes different,
Just a little bit different,
Is the most beautiful thing in the wo
I am in love.
For whatever reasons I should
(Or maybe shouldn't) be,
For better or for worse,
It is what it is.
Something special.
Something magical.
Something real.
Why are you so perfect in my eyes?
I try to pick out the shortcomings,
Focus on the flaws and incompatibilities
So that maybe I can get past this
And move forward.
But every time I try, I come up empty;
I find nothing more than the quirks I so dearly love.
How can I move forward when I'm so stuck on you?
How can I be objective when my perspective is so skewed?
I need to regain control over my life
And I think maybe that means it's time
To let you go.
Today, even the chapel bells are silent.
Today, there is no joyful ringing of the school's alma mater
to signal the coming of noon.
Instead the only sound comes from a church nearby
As its bell tower tolls its twelve long beats -
Twelve joyless sounds to mark the middle of the day,
Twelve empty, hollow tones that seem to go on forever
Like the bell toll to mark the death of a king
Or in this case, just the loss of a loved one.
I miss the sweet taste of your lips,
Even with alcohol on your breath,
For then the sweet taste of gin
Mingles with the innocence, passion, and delicacy
Of your already perfect kiss.
Life is not a Movie by dynamitehackr416, literature
Literature
Life is not a Movie
I feel like I'm living in a fairy tale,
Or maybe a chick flick straight from Hollywood
Where the intro is adversity, the hopeless situation
But then you meet the object of affection.
And you meet in some funny way,
Some silly little moment
That captures the attention of both parties
And you end up with a date -
Which always goes marvelously -
And thus you begin courting.
But somewhere in that courting process
Something always goes wrong.
Maybe he suddenly seems distant
Or you catch him with someone else
Or you learn that he has a child or some other such secret.
And that something goes wrong
And your world heads into a tailspin
Until finally
A Light in the Darkness by dynamitehackr416, literature
Literature
A Light in the Darkness
It's been days and I still can't stop -
Thinking, remembering, reliving
That moment as I hung there, mere inches from the edge,
My soul slipping away in to the storm around us,
My body not far behind.
One false move, one small little nudge
Was all it would have taken
To push me over the edge
And send me tumbling into the night,
Across the line into the endless abyss
From which there can be no return.
And as I hung there, hoping wishing
For it all just to be over,
Suddenly I felt your hand on my shoulder,
Felt you pulling me back toward you
Away from the edge and back into reality.
Reality where the storm is gone
And you shine
Music.
The one thing I miss -
That connection we shared,
That we both understood.
Subtle nuances,
Instrumentation,
Breaking the boundaries of time -
You enjoyed these just as much
As I do.
We could get lost together
In a way I've never known before
And have yet to know since.
You think
That everything's okay
But it can't be
And never will
Because it never was before,
Before the torment of these storms
That brew inside me
As they threaten to drown me
For they never stop -
Never let up,
Never relent -
And the water piles up
With nowhere else to go.
And you poke
And you prod
And suddenly those holes
Explode under the weight
And cover you in their fury
And you can't handle it.
You never could
And you never will.
So why do you keep trying?
I hate constantly having to bite my tongue,
Keeping my silence
To maintain the peace
In this supposed safe-haven
Whose walls I just want to rip apart
With the truths I've had to silence
All these years
Because if I speak -
If I say anything
That isn't just the right thing -
Then suddenly it's Armageddon
And all hell breaks loose
In this place -
In this house
In this home?
Where nothing is sacred
And no one is safe.
A Little Bit Different by dynamitehackr416, literature
Literature
A Little Bit Different
It's been a long time
Since I've come to this room,
Since I've stared at these walls
With this pen in my hand,
Aching to scratch up the emptiness
With something all my own -
Something that represents me,
Something that defines me,
Something that moves,
That lives, that breathes
Like I do,
Continuing on
Even in the shadows,
When you can't see the light anymore
But you know it's there somewhere
So you just keep going,
Reaching, hoping,
Dreaming
For something better,
Or maybe just a little bit different,
Because when you're locked away
Trapped inside yourself
Sometimes different,
Just a little bit different,
Is the most beautiful thing in the wo
I am in love.
For whatever reasons I should
(Or maybe shouldn't) be,
For better or for worse,
It is what it is.
Something special.
Something magical.
Something real.
Why are you so perfect in my eyes?
I try to pick out the shortcomings,
Focus on the flaws and incompatibilities
So that maybe I can get past this
And move forward.
But every time I try, I come up empty;
I find nothing more than the quirks I so dearly love.
How can I move forward when I'm so stuck on you?
How can I be objective when my perspective is so skewed?
I need to regain control over my life
And I think maybe that means it's time
To let you go.
Today, even the chapel bells are silent.
Today, there is no joyful ringing of the school's alma mater
to signal the coming of noon.
Instead the only sound comes from a church nearby
As its bell tower tolls its twelve long beats -
Twelve joyless sounds to mark the middle of the day,
Twelve empty, hollow tones that seem to go on forever
Like the bell toll to mark the death of a king
Or in this case, just the loss of a loved one.
I miss the sweet taste of your lips,
Even with alcohol on your breath,
For then the sweet taste of gin
Mingles with the innocence, passion, and delicacy
Of your already perfect kiss.
Life is not a Movie by dynamitehackr416, literature
Literature
Life is not a Movie
I feel like I'm living in a fairy tale,
Or maybe a chick flick straight from Hollywood
Where the intro is adversity, the hopeless situation
But then you meet the object of affection.
And you meet in some funny way,
Some silly little moment
That captures the attention of both parties
And you end up with a date -
Which always goes marvelously -
And thus you begin courting.
But somewhere in that courting process
Something always goes wrong.
Maybe he suddenly seems distant
Or you catch him with someone else
Or you learn that he has a child or some other such secret.
And that something goes wrong
And your world heads into a tailspin
Until finally
A Light in the Darkness by dynamitehackr416, literature
Literature
A Light in the Darkness
It's been days and I still can't stop -
Thinking, remembering, reliving
That moment as I hung there, mere inches from the edge,
My soul slipping away in to the storm around us,
My body not far behind.
One false move, one small little nudge
Was all it would have taken
To push me over the edge
And send me tumbling into the night,
Across the line into the endless abyss
From which there can be no return.
And as I hung there, hoping wishing
For it all just to be over,
Suddenly I felt your hand on my shoulder,
Felt you pulling me back toward you
Away from the edge and back into reality.
Reality where the storm is gone
And you shine
To rest is a poison you can't flee,
and night becomes a battle no one sees.
The air so thick with fear your sight is blind;
Enemies on your doorstep no one finds.
Your only friend, a whisper in the night.
Be thanks to our King-Redeemer
One who says
"Have life!" and hearts beat"Rise up!" and wounds heal"Be free!" and chains break
He opens doors that no one can shut,
brings the lost ones home
and melts this heart of stone.
Today, even the chapel bells are silent.
Today, there is no joyful ringing of the school's alma mater
to signal the coming of noon.
Instead the only sound comes from a church nearby
As its bell tower tolls its twelve long beats -
Twelve joyless sounds to mark the middle of the day,
Twelve empty, hollow tones that seem to go on forever
Like the bell toll to mark the death of a king
Or in this case, just the loss of a loved one.
Woo it's been more than 2 years since I last updated this. Oops? I dunno.
I haven't written a whole lot of poetry in the recent past. Honestly, with college I've been so burnt out that the most creativity I've really been able to muster has been drawing little sketches of what I see out the window in the corners of my notes.
I have a couple of things I wrote this year around job interview season that I see I never got around to posting, so I'll get those up once I dig them out.
Meanwhile I've been working more on song lyrics. I'm hoping I will be able to do a couple of covers / a cappella arrangements as well as one or two original son
Sorry it's been ages. I try to post every now and again when I finish some work, but I have a ton of half-finished stuff lying around. Most of what's in my dropbox is poetry writings actually, and a lot of it is from last year.
I'm working on just letting things flow instead of trying to force them into being perfect, also. So hopefully more finished work will come more quickly than before.
It's also been an... interesting time in my life. I've always been a mostly calm, patient person (calm meaning in control, not un-crazy). But lately I've noticed that my patience for things has almost completely dissipated and I'm just generally muc
I've been writing as things come up in my life. But guess what: there's some happy-like writing too! I've taken to trying to write music, so I have a couple of choruses of songs that may or may not ever have verses to them. But there's also some work scattered around my computer, both finished things and things still in progress. And by some I actually mean a lot. When there are too many thoughts in my head at once poetry is really helpful sometimes. But it comes from a much different place now. It's no longer a separate part of me, which is probably why there are some happy things too. I just don't really know without searching throu